5 Things That Absolutely Murder Your Success
Few people realize this, but your ultimate success or failure in real estate has surprisingly little to do with wielding the hottest tactics, the coolest strategies or the sweetest tools in the biz.
The truth is, it’s got almost everything to do with that 6 inches of real estate between your ears–i.e. your Mindset. Yep, it’s those core values, guiding beliefs and personal habits you are (or aren’t) cultivating in your life–your Inner Game–that at the end of the day, will either make or flat out break you in your real estate endeavors.
Today I want to shine the light on five things that will absolutely kill your success to death if you let them. All five have in common…
An all-too familiar tune: Chances are this’ll hit home for you somewhere, on account of it’s five of the most notorious and flagrant offenders that have been stupefying the progress and prosperity of smart, big-dreaming, hardworking folks like you and me since always and forever. I’ve seen it happen literally hundreds of times now firsthand.
It’s not theory, it’s personal: I myself have struggled with these five things a number of times (sometimes a lot) since I first started in real estate 16+ years ago. So been there, done that, got the dang t-shirt.
I should say this: Each of these five things could easily merit an entire discourse by itself. But my goal here isn’t so much trying to cure all your crazy, success-eating head crap in one fell swoop. That’s way too much crazy for just one ‘swoop’.
This is more like ‘square one’, where I’m personally challenging you to get real with me for a couple solid minutes by taking a good, honest look inward, and ruminating on which of these inner demons you’re allowing yourself be held hostage by right now.
Then afterward, I
invite dare you to share a comment below about which of these hits home with you the hardest and why. There’s a lot more we could crack open on any of them, but we’ll let your feedback decide which of them gets dug into more deeply in the near future together.
So let’s get down to it…
Thing #1: Fear
I consider this the number “success murderer” of them all–not just since it’s first on my list here, but because it’s the most prevalent, the most insidiously addictive and the hardest to break free from. But one way or another, come hell or high water…
You simply must break free from the shackles of fear.
Fear can take many forms…
Maybe you’re afraid of what people think, so you don’t want to try anything new that you might embarrassingly screw up in front of witnesses. So you’ve got “FOLB Syndrome” – Fear Of Looking Bad.
It could be you’re afraid of feeling like a failure. Maybe you’ve wrestled through some painful (possibly expensive) mistakes in the past, and you’re just not sure you can take it if you fall down and bloody your nose yet again.
Maybe it’s that you’re afraid of not knowing enough. So you keep focused on learning, more seminars and more training, just soaking up everything you can… until you expect that at some point the ‘warm fuzzies’ will arrive and you’ll finally know enough to go out and take all that massive action you’ve been putting off.
Which–P.S.–is never really going to happen because (1) you’re just kidding yourself, and (2) at least half of what you need to learn will only happen in the trenches anyway. So the idea that there’s a “finally, I know enough now!” feeling waiting for you is, in fact, a myth.
Aaaaah, and then there’s that snake in the grass called fear of success.
Maybe you’ve got a repressed, self-limiting belief about what what you’re actually capable of, or what you’re even really worth when it comes down to it. For example, maybe you’ve got this picture of yourself as a “blue collar, $30,000” person, who comes from a respectable blue collar, $30,000 a year family. Nothing wrong with that…unless it puts a cap on you by believing that all you’re capable of.
I’ve come to realize that lots of folks struggle with this one actually, depending on your background. And it can be really sneaky, since you typically don’t even realize you struggle with it on a conscious level.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg really. So many fears, so little time.
How to Start Slaying Your Fear
Here’s the really great news: You can clobber any of these forms of fear.
Step one is to genuinely “know thyself” well enough to identify where your own personal fear-demons are dwelling. And also to be honest enough with yourself to admit that you actually have a problem with being afraid, even if it seems irrational.
Then, once you’ve uncovered your own fear du jour and exposed it to the light for what it is, it’s already started losing some of it’s power over you. The next step is to focus intently on dealing with it. And I mean attack it head on with everything you’ve got, as if it were an enemy…because it is!
An excellent place to start is actually doing the very thing you’re afraid of. Here’s something that’s become sort of a personal mantra of mine…
Let me ask you: What is courage?
I used to believe that courage is basically the opposite of fear–that being courageous meant facing great challenges without fear. I’ve come to realize this isn’t even close to true. Courage is not the absence of fear–it’s when you do what needs to be done even in the face of your fear.
The men who stormed the beaches of Normandy weren’t courageous because they felt no more fear. I have no doubt they felt fear on a deeper level than I can come close to relating to right now. They were courageous in how they took necessary action in spite of their fear.
So basically I’m challenging you to level-up, not by ignoring your fear or somehow eliminating it, but by bravely acting in the face of it. And then like magic, the very act of doing so will begin to dissolve the power that fear holds over you. And I think that’s something pretty freaking awesome.
Terrified you’ll screw up or fail yet again? Yeah, maybe so. But you have to start realizing that failure is a necessary part of the process of success. Every baby who learns to walk–every one of them–falls down over and over again in the process. But it sure doesn’t stop them from trying over and over again, does it? Then suddenly one day that darn baby’s running circles around you.
Be like that baby.
Instead of being paralyzed by the fear of falling down (yet again), start seeing failures as “failing forward”. You aren’t going to learn anything or gain anything by just sitting there scared on your duff. Every failure you endure is feedback for you – every mistake you make gives you an opportunity to learn, grow, hone your skill and craft a better plan for the next time around.
Consider this from the great Tony Robbins, a big-freaking man for whom I happen to be a big-freaking fan:
Stop. Read that again please.
…Powerful stuff, yeah?
Every scraped knee, bloody nose and broken bone you endure, while painful, is also helpful – if you choose to make it so.
Think of a refining fire – it burns while it makes you stronger.
Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive about what could go right, now more than ever thanks to the sharpening lessons you’ve learned through your mistakes.
So here’s a direct, personal challenge from me to you:
From this point forward I dare you to become all about freeing yourself from these fears. I mean really attack them ferociously, because your success quite literally depends on it. And if you don’t… you’re choosing a life of slavery, shackled and controlled by fear. Frankly you deserve better.
These five things aren’t just annoying stumbling blocks… they’re straight-up the worst.
Again, from the great Tony Robbins…
“A real decision is measured by the fact that you have taken new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”
Make a commitment that you’re going to break through these limiting beliefs and write down what you need to do to make it happen. Ask yourself, “What can I do to break free from being shackled by these things?” And be committed to uncovering that answer. You owe it to yourself.
Which of these five things hit you squarely between the eyes? Maybe more than one?
Please share below. I’d love to hear from you on this.